OH Yes Mustaches

Weeeee!, Lets take a ride on my magical unicorn transportation system to…

MY PERFECT APARTMENT (courtesy of Vacancy.com, for all your apartment needs.)

I was just clicking along on Vacancy.com WHEN SUDDENLY

I STUMBLED UPON MY PERFECT APARTMENT. 

You can imagine my excitement when I realized they do allow pets. Now I don’t need to worry about being lonely, I can take my pet rock along, too. As soon as it stops growling at the neighbors. This apartment is minutes from New York City, one of my favorite cities in the world. In fact, its address is 600 Jackson Street, Hoboken, NJ, 07030. Who wouldn’t want to live in a town named Hoboken? As I started flipping through the pictures, I noticed they have a huge, open and nicely lighted living space.

This should come in handy. For things. Like… watching tv by myself. It will never get too crowded! 

The kitchen is larger than in most apartments, with very nice stainless steel appliances. It even has a breakfast bar. Which I will probably eat more than just breakfast on. Because I will probably eat lunch there. Shh.. don’t tell anybody. 

The colors of the apartment are all very nice and light. They help you keep an open mind when doing busy college work. They help to provide a low stress environment. There are plenty of rooms to do plenty of things in. Like the robot. Which is cool, everyone likes robots. Unfortunately the weight room is pretty small. 

But thats okay, I probably won’t be using it much anyway. That’s a fat joke. 

Here you can see a very nice outdoor area surrounding the apartment complex. They have nice rocks. Which is nice. My pet rock will have friends. 

They also have an outdoor grill. I can see my face in it. 

The website also provides the weather for this area. Which is really cool. And pretty useful. If I were to be looking at apartments that weren’t two hours away from my house. 

This is the overall floor plan. If I were to find a roommate, I would challenge them to tic-tac-toe to decide who gets the big closet. But I would cheat. Because I want the big closet. 

Within the entire community, they include a coffee bar, which is fantastic, because coffee products are useful to everyone because everyone likes coffee and if they don’t like coffee they usually like tea and coffee bars usually have tea which is cool because I don’t like coffee. They also have a 25000 sqft Landscape Courtyard, which I’m sure is beautiful in the spring time. There’s also a bocce ball court, because everyone knows what bocce ball is. Covered parking is included, which is convenient. It is definitely hard to find a place to park when you live in an apartment. They even have a putting green! I don’t know what a putting green is. 

The apartment itself has a stackable washer and dryer unit. Which is much cheaper and easier than having to go to the cleaners. And last time someone said they would take me to the cleaners, they didn’t actually take me to the cleaners. And I really needed to do some laundry. There is disability access, which is really nice. Not that I personally need it, but some people do and that is very helpful for them. Outside the sliding French doors, there’s a balcony, and everyone likes a good balcony. I think the only thing that could make this apartment better would be if the town wasn’t named Hoboken. Or possibly a really fantastic stereo system. Or maybe an elevator directly to my room. Unless they have that. Then thats cool. 

Oh, yeah, and I figured out what a putting green is. 

It’s for golf.

SOME UNICORNS WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS BLOG POST.

http://www.vacancy.com/new-jersey/hoboken-apartments/juliana-luxury-apartments